If you’re in a relationship, your significant other (hopefully) has their own life. Their friends. Their coworkers. Their family.
Undoubtedly their relationships with those other people will encounter some issues. A fight with a friend. A situation at work. Some conflict with a family member. If you became intimately aware of the details you would undoubtedly form an opinion of who was “right and wrong”.
I would urge you to stay as far away from those details as possible.
Why? Because what if your significant other is partially or completely at fault? Maybe they are in a fight with a friend because they said something mean. Maybe their situation at work is because they’re not that good at their job. Maybe their family conflict is their doing.
You’re better off not knowing – because in my opinion you need to unconditionally take your partner’s side. Everyone needs someone they can turn to who’s 100% with them. Everyone needs a sanctuary from judgement and criticism. Someone they can trust. Someone they can be vulnerable to. And if that’s not you, who is it?
Forget that for a second – be pragmatic. Let’s say your partner IS at fault. What’s the chance that you being critical of them is going to result in them recognizing the truth and changing/fixing the situation? My guess is “very low”. Conversely, what’s the chance that attempting to do that will damage your relationship? I’d guess “very high”.
And that’s why I don’t want to know. When she’s dealing with shit in her world, my job is to be a shoulder to cry on, a champion of her anger, an attentive and sympathetic ear to talk to. I don’t care if she’s right or wrong. I care about her. If I’m wrong, if I’m aiding and abetting – so be it. I’m a partisan of love. I’m all in.
P.S. – Don’t expect anyone to side against their partner. Don’t fault them for doing so. It’s their job and they don’t have a choice if being with that person is more important than the issue at hand.