High on my list of “stuff I wish I knew back then” is a better understanding of how successful romantic relationships start. The version I know a little about is “boy likes girl”.
I’m pretty sure if you add it all up, I’ve wasted at least a year of my life dreaming, wishing , pining, and lusting for some girl who wasn’t into me. If I could take every second of that back I would. Maybe I learned something from it, but if that’s true, it’s not ringing any bells. What I did get from it was endless sadness, self-pity and depression.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to “grow on someone”. I’ve seen it happen on rare occasions. But for every time I’ve seen that happen, I’ve witnessed a hundred times where it didn’t work out. My personal record is approximately 0/30.
When it did work out, it worked out fast and clear. There was chemistry very quickly, and it grew quickly. It’s like your new favorite song. You hear it the first time and you’re like “who is this….this is good”. Then it’s stuck in your head and pretty soon in heavy play rotation.
So here’s my advice to dudes, especially young dudes. If she likes you, you’ll know it, and know it quickly. Give it a minute, but if it’s not going where you want it, move on with your life. And if you’re not sure, assume it’s not going to happen. If you keep trying after that, you’re wasting your time, setting yourself up for heartache, and probably making a fool of yourself.