With the exception of this blog, I approach giving people advice the same way I’d approach kissing a girl: only when I think it’s welcome and after I’ve verbally asked for permission. Pretty sure the Boss would frown on that analogy, but I’m going with it. This one is really simple. If someone tells you
I can’t tell you what house to buy or when. There’s a lot of risk. Lots of variables. I do have opinions on why you should buy a house, and why you shouldn’t. My source for this is the experience we’ve had owning three homes – one I regret, one meh, one tentatively good. Full disclosure: we’re
There is this video called “This is Water” that changed my life. It took a few times before it really sunk in, but right away I felt there was something profound about it. I’ll let you watch it for yourself, but the concept is that your happiness is a choice, and the right perspective can
These are two phrases you never want to start a sentence with. Here they are with an example. “You always blame me.” “You never help clean up.” People rarely “always” or “never” do something. If you claim someone “always” does something bad, you discount the times when that’s not true, when they’ve done the right
In a conflict, I’ve found cursing makes a bad situation worse. There is a big emotional difference between “Why do you always have to do that?” and “what do you always have to f****ng do that?” Curse words are harsh. They can be hateful. They add a nasty edge onto whatever you’re saying. Better to
It’s a simple fact of human nature: when we’re being yelled at, we don’t hear. To be yelled at is to be attacked. When attacked, we defend, shut down, or counter-attack. Yelling is not only ineffective for expressing a point, it makes the situation worse. You could be telling someone the location of a hidden treasure
“Don’t go to bed angry”. It’s a nice sentiment. It’s also highly unrealistic. There is a big need for forgiveness and moving on. But the timetable for that process should not be dictated by the sun. When people are angry, they go through a process. You’ve got to cool down. You need to think about
If you’ve ever taken an introduction to Psychology class, you’ll remember positive and negative reinforcement. With positive reinforcement we reward the right behavior. With negative reinforcement, we punish the wrong behavior. Guess which works better in human relationships? Like many men, I used to have a problem putting the toilet seat down. I could never
I’ve come to value “being happy” over “being right”. First off, when it comes to human relationships, there is no such thing as absolute truth. Each person has their own version of “right” and good luck trying to convince someone that your truth is better. I used to spend a lot of time telling people they
I’ll cut to the chase on this one: Don’t write down anything you don’t want anyone and everyone to read. It’s really simple. Emails and texts can be forwarded. Print outs can be scanned and shared. Pictures can be taken and transmitted. Pieces of those things can be taken out of context. These things can