I’ll admit it – I can be kind of lazy. With all things; definitely cleaning.
When it comes to cleaning, the case could be made that I don’t do my fair share. I think I have closed the gap CONSIDERABLY in the last few years, but that’s my opinion.
What is beyond debate is my historical average over the past 19 years the Boss and I have been together: which is very poor. Overall, all in all, I have not done my fair share.
But I’m just going to narrow in on one part of that shitty track record and the concept of “taking turns”. To be more specific, taking turns doing the dishes. We tried this. It didn’t work.
Inevitably I would end up not doing my fair share. The big problem was me procrastinating. I would leave dishes overnight and they would pile up. That’s annoying, but sometimes I would leave them, and then have work plans or be travelling the next day. Or perhaps I’d get sick. Or perhaps she’d need a dish at the bottom of the pile. Or we’d have company coming over. Or just she was annoyed at having a sink full of dishes. In all these scenarios, she’d end up doing the dishes. The dishes I was supposed to do because it was “my turn”.
This went on for at least a year – maybe more. Sometimes I’d be better. Sometimes I’d be worse. But overall, it wasn’t working.
So we adopted a new solution: I would do all the dishes all the time.
Seems extreme? Who knows, who cares. You know why? Because we never had a fight about doing the dishes again. There was no question. There were no special circumstances. Unless I’m physically not in the state or the country – I’m the dish guy.
A little extra effort me – sure. But so, so worth it. So that’s my advice. Don’t share chores. Pick a person, make it your role, and let there be no question about it.
P.S. I read this post to the Boss, and as I suspected, she wasn’t impressed. Apparently I need to do more cooking 🙂